How do you believe in love when you know it cannot be sustained? When do you choose love if you know that it's fleeting, that the butterflies which have metamorphosed in your body will one day pass on, leaving only the empty space where their wings used to flutter? How do you choose love when the people you want to love have not been taught what it means to love, have never felt the joy of true kinship, have learned that to love is to be weak?
Because if love is weakness then I denounce strength. If love is a burden, then I will stay until swatted away. But love is more than pleasure, and the desire to give pleasure, it is a constant war between ideals, upbringings, attitudes, and alliances. It is a constant unlearning and relearning of the person, of communities, and by extension, the world. To choose to love is a gamble because if the person I am today will be different tomorrow, how can I ever speak of forever?
I do not know who I am.
I cannot yet know where I, you, we, are going.Â
But maybe it is this line, this existential dance between knowing and guessing that characterizes the magic of love.